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Random for Valentines Day.. ^_^

Okay..

Every body is drooling over Valentines day.

Wonder why.

Well maybe its because its a special day to celebrate LOVE.

And to their dismay, I might write few things about liking someone or even loving someone.

Okay, even though everybody knows that I am Officially taken, as a female, I had experienced different kinds of awkward feelings when it comes to attractions to the opposite gender. (It was all in the past just clear things up!)

I even wonder why sometime in my teenage life, I experienced some feelings I needed to consider.

Have you ever had the feeling that when you see this person, you feel like trembling, fainting, even though you didn't know that person specifically?

Meaning, you aren't close to her/him but then, you feel the anxiety inside you. Curious about who that person is? You wanted to get some details about him/her. Like an amateur stalker on da loose. =p

Checking out his/her facebook profile, looking at his/her pictures, Some informations where is his/her hometown.

Is he/she SINGLE?

Taken?

Crap! Who is like this? Please raise your hand! Hahahaha!

Honestly, I am like this. Except that I'm checking out the Jonas Brothers Profile and Enchong Dee's Fan page in Facebook! Hahahaha!

(Luvie please don't be jealous! Iloveyou!)

Beside the fact I soo like the voice and the looks of Nick and Enchong, its what I do most of time.

Just looking at their pictures. Aww..

And the funny thing is that when you see them, you are eager to hold them and even talk to the person you feel something eerie or awkward. Well I want to say..

You have a CRUSH with that person if you're doing this. XD

Ever cried because your in love with your best friend and she/he doesn't know?

Well even though I don't know how it feels like, I know how hard it is..

Because it's between friendship and LOVE.

And you need to choose one..

And fight for what you feel but don't gamble if friendship is at stake. You have to choose.

And you should be responsible in choosing whether love or friendship. Once you have decided to choose,

Make sure you are portraying a best friend or lover not both.

(Ha! Shoot! Did some one get hit? Hell I don't care! Its my blog! =p)

Don't make things complicated. Make things clear.

When you choose to be a friend act like a friend not a lover.

Learn to be REAL not to Pretend.. I don't care for if some one would disagree for what I am saying. It's my point of view. (don't push it. It's my page! =p)

Did you ever fell in love by just seeing that person for the first time? =)

Love at first sight.. =)

They say it's like magic. The whole world stops spinning and there's a magical feeling inside you. Your heart thumping so badly that you couldn't even stop it.

All you see is the most exquisite stranger in front of you.

Not all of us knows how that feels but then, some are randomly feeling this from afar.

Its a cute thing when they ended up together. =)

Like they are bound to be partners forever. (Shivering! =p)

It's really an amazing story when I heard some. Its quite different but still, it happens. =)

Love is lovelier the 2nd time around. =)

Believe me this is true. I experienced this myself. =)

Its when you feel like it won't work out but you still went for it.

Being inlove with the same person way back isn't so bad. Sometimes its a good thing.

Because you knew better this time..

What is the best for both of you... =)

Love this.. =)

Ever Love someone who is worthy?

You know Love is the most magical thing in this world. In fact, our life is a story of love but in different ways like Love for God, Love for Family, Love for someone special, Love of a daughter to parents, Love for a friend. And Valentines Day is one day to celebrate Love.

All of us deserved to be Loved. No man is an Island and we should love more each day and be happy and satisfied with life.

I wanted to think of many other kinds of Love but then I need to shut my mouth before I get carried away with this post. =p

Please be happy on Valentines Day even I think I will have a lousy Valentines because of certain issues but, I want you guys to be happy... =)

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!!

I don't know anything about your world. I want to comment about that.

Typical me. Scanning and seeing different stuffs about literally everything.

There was something I saw.

It was just pictures. Some uploaded pictures in Facebook.

I was pissed off seeing some of the pictures because of who were in those photos.

Huh. Yeah I hate her. I don't like her. Maybe she doesn't like me either but I don't really care. All I care about is that she need to get out on my path or else..

Okay.. I'll stop talking about her.. My post isn't about her anyway.

Let's skip that part.

I saw some family pictures. Some comments and everything.

Somehow it hit me.

Like I felt something that I wasn't suppose to feel. I wasn't even close to that family though I respect them a lot.

I respect them to the highest heavens even at times I talk about wrong things about them but still, I respect them very much.

There are a lot of stuffs I wanted to to know about them. They are suppose to be some people I wished I knew better.

I am not the type of girl who usually got up then talk to them as if we've known each other for life. I'm maybe a little talkative but not when I talk to older people or to those whom I know I need to watch my behavior.

Hell. That's not me. Definitely not my attitude. I am not the type of girl who will speak up and tell stories about me. I shy away from those scenario.

Instead I'll keep quiet and then I'll just be scared to even touch them.

Yeah. Kitinn who is famous for being outspoken through her blog is shy when it comes to talking to elderly whom she respects a lot.

I don't know. I want to know about them. What is their stories but somehow I am afraid to ask. I am more afraid of what will they think of me. Their impression about me. I don't want them to judge me.

Instead I'd rather keep my mouth shut than to make bad impressions about myself. But I wanted to know their stories.

Complicated aren't I?

I don't know if this is confusion or just avoiding and then wanted to do something but I can't..

Stupid me...

There are stuffs I wanted to see, I wanted to feel but I'd rather be sitting in front of my computer.

I am not type of having the thickest face on earth. I'd rather be in my house doing something instead of making a fool of myself.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I should make up my mind but I really need to find something to make me grow wider and broad.

Life is complicated.

What's new?

I had been busy as crap in school but some days seems insignificant.

That really bugs me. But I don't have a choice.

*sigh

I will be Okay.. =)

KITINN

See you later Bestfriend...

As I had my friends. I treasure them without hesitation.

I will love them forever. Because they deserve to be loved. To be wanted. I always knew sincerity was the key to friendship. I always knew how to love.

Everyone needs a friend. Everybody knows that. As friendship grows older, everything gets deep. Everything will fall into place..

And the next thing you knew..

You have your brand new best friend.. Best because they'll always be there for you. When you have no one to talk to. You'll have them. They'll hug you, comfort you, be there for you. Ready to fight with you. Inseparable.

Then you'll be sisters. Everything was there.. Love,trust,faith.. Everything...

You'll separate ways but still... The friendship will always be there..

You're going to grow up. Trying something knew, learning and such.

The communication will be stiff. Life challenges will be hard but still.. When you think of those people whom you can be with.. You'll feel better even though they are not always around.

You'll just wish for them to remember you. That was all you wanted.. Yet..

Sometimes people change for some reasons.. But.. The friendship..

Is it still there?

What if they already forgotten every single days that you were together?

Every memories..

Every Laughters...

Every Moment...

Once they decided not be a friend anymore...

It will be all for nothing...

How that hurts? Believe me.. It hurts like sh*t...

I had loved. I had experienced to be broken.

Many times. I couldn't even count how many times I was hurt.

How many times I had cried for the things that hurt..

But still.. This one darn experience was so cruel that it crushed me through the bones and I couldn't help not to ignore the feeling.

I couldn't feel a single emotion at the moment..

My long wish was granted at last..

But why am I still so sad? So hurt..

All I could was to stare blankly at the ceiling... Remember everything...

Tears keep falling off my eyes and I couldn't do anything about it...

All was left in my mind and heart was memories...

How I wish to bring them back..

As I look back at those memories. I couldn't help not to cry. To feel every pain that was present now in my heart..

Deciding something permanent was so much to deal with..

I ran out of things to say.. To leave somebody needs acceptance for the person that was left..

I am trying my best to accept every word she said.

She said goodbye but still...

I still pray and hope for her happiness even if it kills me to let her go.

She had been my gorgeous lady.. My best girl.. My Bhezzy.. My best friend..

Yet.. She said she doesn't belong anymore..

It would be better..

So much that I love her...

I choose to let her go.. *sigh

She wanted to be free. Having her brand new life was now her world.

I feel so empty, so tormented because I knew how much I loved her.

How much I wanted to be a part of her. I don't know what's the reason behind those hurtful words that she said.

But whatever it is, I hope she's happy. I wanted her to be happy.. Every single moment. She deserves that. I hope and pray that those brand new persons who is now with her will take care of her. Love her the way I loved her.

I wanted to hug her so tight and tell her how much I love her, how much I missed her.

It was awkward seeing her again but what was more dominant when I saw her was she really wasn't mine anymore... I wanted to tell her many beautiful things that happened in my life.. But I was so scared that she wouldn't listen to my stories.

I tried to be casual. But I couldn't even say those words that I wanted to. I held back. Knowing that it would be better..

I said goodbye without looking back at her.. How much it hurts to leave her without even saying anything.

*sigh

After everything. I was finally home. I held back the tears that was ready to betray me any moment. I rushed to my bedroom. Sit ever so numbly at my bed. I saw my memory box. I opened it and I read her letters.

I couldn't look at her picture with me.

Not that I don't want to see it but it hurts so much to even look at it.

And now...

I just wanted to say. It will take a lifetime for me to forget how precious she is to me..

No one could ever replace her in my heart. There will always be a special space for her.

I don't know for how long I will feel this pain..

Hoping it was all just a dream.

But I know it's not.

When the time comes that I'll be seeing you again, I want you to know that I was never mad at you. I wanted to see you happy and satisfied with your life even if I'm not a part of it anymore. One day, I'll be able to know why you left but I guess it's no longer important.

I want to say I was thankful. I was glad that once in my life, I had a best friend like you and I would never ever forget how fun it is to have you..

I would not say good bye because I know I'll be seeing you again. I just don't know when.

Time heals everything. I'll just let time work its magic.

God knows when will that time comes and I hope when it comes, I will not remember any pain that you once gave us but I'll remember those happy moments we once shared.

YOU WILL ALWAYS BE A PART OF ME..

I love you Bhezzy... Always have... Always will...

See you later...

KITINN...

Something I could never forget..

I felt whole the moment I stepped out and stare at the blank.

There's a lot of things I learned while I aged or even mature. I really have a lot of stories and I have many things to consider as well.

I surely can be stubborn the moment I decided to do something. Hahaha! I know.. I have my ways to express whatever I like..

Events in my life were always random. I couldn't even anticipate what's coming but all I know is that. I'm trying to be whatever I am. Whatever it takes to make me whole.

I may commit some stupid or regretful decisions that may ruin my future but, all I wanted to do is what I think is worth my attention..

Haayyy.. Am I being complicated again? Wushh... =p

Anyways.. I could say my Christmas vacation wasn't spectacular or anything. As I always says..

"Sapat lang."

There are so many accidents that happened to me..

It's so sad because it was always have to be about MONEY..

Sometimes, I wish my family was rich.

Because it was all about the MONEY..

*Sigh*

It's a good thing LOVE couldn't be bought.. =)

It was Christmas anyways...

So I celebrated this with my family.

The New Year was interesting.

I met a young friend. Her name is Ruffa... =)

Anyways. I wanted to make things straight for her.

She's so young yet Vulnerable.

I know where my perspective stands and somehow, I wanted her to see how to live her life in a good way.

She's too young to know what's right or wrong.

I'm not that old to know what is a good life either but at least I know what is right..

So.. It was all about school after the vacation. I was too lazy to set my mind for school.

Hmpf.. My friend were too lazy either..

So we compromised.. We made a decision..

*wink* =p

Okay. So it was a done deal. I spent my day with something I didn't see coming.. It was so impossible for me to even think its gonna happen but it did..

I didn't expected that. All was left was memories now whenever I think of it..

I don't feel any guilt to the decision I had made.

Its just so sad the other one didn't feel it the way I do... =(

But after a long talk..

It was something not easily forgotten and I don't want to feel any regrets that I have failed to keep any promises that was said in the past.

It was just a misunderstanding... =p

And everybody was happy again.

Except I still have a little pain in my heart..

No wonder I still feel the emptiness inside me.

I felt the trembling every time I think of that person wishing that she's happy wherever she is now...

I've got to focus and be ready for what's coming...

KITINN

Its hard when the person you know becomes people you knew.. ='(

I can honestly say that.. For the first time.. There's nothing in my mind to describe whatever I am feeling now..

Okay.. I have alot to say.. I have to admit.. This is not easy.. Its not easy to lose someone..

Some people says that the only permanent thing in this world is CHANGE..

Yes.. They are right.. And right now, I'm having a a hard time to swallow that fact especially you know what really happened..

I have this special someone.. And...

Maybe.. We grew apart.. =(

Ahh.. Whenever I remember how we used to be together..

She always have her ways to be malambing..

How we usually go on dates to bond with each other.. And I can't believe that I already lost her..

It hurts to believe and it hurts to see the reality that no matter how hard we try to reach you, Its still up to you how to reach us back..

It hurts much more that you never try to reach back..

And all you care about was your present life..

Alam mo.. Hindi aku galit.. Actually miss na miss na kita..

If I could just hug you so tight and tell you that.. I would.. I really would...

I would tell you that I missed you and that I would love for you to come back because I love you.. I really do... You know that..

Sana.. Mahal mo pa din aku kahit wala kana samin.. Kasi ikaw pa din nandito kapa din sa isip ku.. Love pa din kita.. Love na Love.. Namimiss pa din kita.. Miss na Miss na.. Hindi ku masabi na sobrang masaya aku.. Kasi anjan si Paolo and Lhia with me.. And its Christmas..

Pero.. Ikaw.. Hinahanap pa din kita.. Namimiss.. Still I am wishing and hoping that one day.. Siguro babalik ka samin.. And I just don't know how to accept you back..

But sana... Kahit sana lang.. Alam mo na.. Kahit anung mangyari..

Ikaw lang.. Palagi kitang iniisip.. Namimiss.. Na sana.. Matutunan mu bumalik kung san ka umalis.. Sana.. Makabalik ka.. Ikaw lagi kita pinagdadasal..

I am wishing that you're happy with the decisions you're making.. Pinagdadasal ku na.. Sana.. Naririnig ku pa din yung mga storya mu.. Kung kamusta kana.. Kung malungkot ka ba...

I would still love to listen to you.. I would love to have a date with you.. Pero alam kung wala kana ehh.. Ramdam ku.. Alam ku.. Kitang kita namin..

Paolo is always there to wipe my tears off because he knows that I miss you so much.. And he would always tell that nanjan ka lang..

Maybe you're not with us but.. You're still there alive and you're not gone.. He would always tell me that...

"People change Honey, they do. Its just a matter of how to accept and you should be happy for her.."

Yes.. I am happy for you. I just wished that.. Sana..

Once in a while you could look back at me or at us. And say to yourself na..

Namimiss mu din kami.. Like the way I am missing you..

You know that I never asked you to prioritize me or Lhia..

We just wanted you to remember us once in a while.. I understand that we have different lives..

But I hope you're doing something about it..

Kahit minsan lang... Kahit once a month..

And so that people won't change the way they see you.. And don't say you don't care because we do...

You already told me that you don't know how to balance your time and you don't want na maisip namin na.. You already forgot about us..

But you're making us feel that you do.. Because you have your brand new life and we're not in it anymore.. *sigh*

Siguro nga.. Ito na yung panahon that I have to accept that you have your life.. You changed..

Pero sana.. Remember that.. I will always be your Bestfriend..

Always have.. Always will..

Thank you sa lahat Bhezzy...

I will always love you Bhez.. Alam mo yan..

KITINN...

Its nice to be taken.. =p

Well...

For starters.. I am here at the University Library.. Writing again.. Ohh sure.. Its for free.. Since the library is using limited site and blogger is not blocked!! Thank heavens for that!

I could write here without renting or paying.. Hahaha!! Ohh sweet victory!! =p

Too bad I am having a short quiz afterwards and I have to review..

But can you believe I can't resist not to write? Hahahahaha!! Watta silly joke.. =)

But I guess its true.. Especially when I am loving my privilege.. =)



What should I write? Yeah.. Not same old stories...


There's alot of things that I really want to say... Honestly.. There is alot of events in my life.. Its just that... Well I am quite busy.. Hmpf.. That sucks..



Anyhow.. Let's start..

Someone told me that being in a relationship... Is hard..

Committing yourself to other person is no joke.. I can agree with that..
Giving all the time and effort is not an easy thing to do..
Sharing it all at the same and BALANCING YOURSELF is not easy as well.. But if you're willing, what should be the problem right?

I get it.. Distractions can make a tremendous change in your life..

But hey.. Its up to you to balance it and find the other way around...

Some people told me that..


I AM A HOPELESS ROMANTIC...


Well.. I can agree to some points.. But not in literal points of views...


They told me you can longer play around and hang out with some other guys... Or in short..

You can't date other guys simply because your taken...

Yeah.. I know.. Some people just don't see the contentment when you're already committed that's why they say its hard to tie yourself up to a person.. And to one person only..



I mean.. What's the big deal about it?

I am so not gonna deny that alot of guys are still asking me out though they already know I have a boyfriend..

I don't see the logic especially when I see their motives..

I know they like me.. Not in a way that friends are supposed to be..


I don't know how to react or to say to what they feel for me...

I am flattred somehow but sometimes.. It is bugging me alot..

I don't know to turn down ostentatious guys.. Ugh..

I am so being nice.. And I hate it... But I know where is my stand..

My stand is.. Satisfaction to whoever I have in this very moment...

Ohh Love its on its way.. =)


People should see their limit in terms of dating when your already committed to someone else.. Coz in the end??

It will just bring out some pieces of trash that you will be needing to clean.. And It will really suck.. =)

Its Okay to date friends.. I mean guys.. When you're in a relationship.. Just don't lie to your better half about it.. And just be sure to..

The motive of that guy who wants to date you is that.. He likes you to be his friend.. And that's just it.. ^_^

You can still live your normal life even though your taken already..

You can still do what you want..

If he/she does not understand.. Well.. Explain him/her to him very briefly..

If he/she can't cope up.. Then help him/her..

See? Its a matter of conversation.. ^_^

Haaayyy.. Ignore my emotions.. I am just too happy to be taken... ^_^

Kitinn...