Sunday, June 20, 2010

Father's Day means suckers day. -_-

*sigh*

Ate is not here in the house.

She left. She got tired and she had been hit by my dad.

He's drunk but that's no excuse.

This issue had been going on for years now.

This sucks.

I don't want to hurt anymore.

If this family is made to be broken then let it be.

I don't want to hold on and just get hurt physically and emotionally.

Dad's very good. He think as if every he says is right.

Feling niya siya magaling.

Sige siya na lahat.

But you know what?

If there comes a time. When all he could do is to reach out for help and his wisdom will vanish together with his ego and pride.

Ngayon ko lang na-experience na ang pambabae. Ay tama.

According to my Dad. Yes. Wag ka lang papahuli or sabihin mo sa Asawa mo na wag siya makialam.

Tse.

Tumgil.

I don't want my Dad. For the past 18 years of my life. Ngayon lang siya nanakit ng ganito dahil nagsapukan sila ni Ate at lumayas na lang si Ate dito dahil sawa na siya marinig ang away ng parents ko. Sawa na talaga ako.

Father's Day? Ohh Come on? It's suckers day for me.

Dapat lumayas na lang dito Tatay ko.

Hindi ko na kaya.

Pagod na ko. Hindi lang ako furniture or palamuti sa bahay na toh.

Anak ako. May nararamdaman din ako. Hindi ako Manhid.

Nakakapagod makipag argue sa taong tingin sa sarili niya siya na ang pinaka magaling na tao sa mundo.

&$^&$^*$*%)*+_&_&(*&*!!!!

Alam niyo. Naiingit ako sa mga may Tatay na Mahal ang pamilya nila kasi ako?

Hindi ko maramdaman yon ehh.

Puro pamba- babae lang kasi ang inatupag niya at ang pag gawa ng para samin at pag ta-trabaho niya ay hindi obligasyon para sakanya.

Yun ay utang na loob.

BV lang.

Nakakainggit kayo. Sana yung Tatay ko? Matauhan na.

At dadating din ang araw na lahat ng ginawa niya samen at dadating ang oras na siya mismo ang mangangailanagan ng tulong namen. At mamawala lahat sakanya.

Alam ko na hindi namen siya pababayaan pero sana. Maramdaman niya lahat ng sakit na binigay niya samin.

Karma goes around.

I know and I believe in that.

This Day sucks.

Imbis na ma-appreciate ko na may Tatay ako?

Lalo lang akong nayayamot kasi wala naman siyang maipagmalaki samin kundi ang pamba-babae niya.

Dun siya kay Miss Japayuki. Dun siya.

*sigh*

I don't want my Mom to hurt anymore. She doesn't deserve this.

She's a great Mom.

She deserve way better than this.

Aww Mom.

Stop being a masochistic martyr.

Let it go.

Let it go.


Sunday, June 6, 2010

MISSED BLOGSPOT TOO! SORRY IF I'M NEGLECTING THIS. I'LL TRY TO UPDATE MORE OFTEN. :)

Almost the worst weekend of the year! :|

Okay. Fine.

Saturday night.

(Us texting)

Him: Can you go out at 9:40am tomorrow?

Me: O_O Serious! I’m in Dreamland by then. I can’t wake up as early as that! I’m still asleep by noon!

Him: Please? Pretty please? Just for once! Trust me on this. :)

Me: Where are we going?

Him: To An Adventure. :)

Me: This better be good! I’m telling ya! Hmp.

Him: Bahala na bukas! 9:40am. No late! Goodnight Honey! Iloveyou. :)

Me: And Iloveyou more. Go to sleep. :)

TODAY @ 7:00am

Me: I hate you for letting me wake up this early. :|

Him: This will be good. Go eat after that Be ready at 9:40. Same meeting place :)

TODAY @ 9:40am

Sees him. Smiled and left with him holding my hand. It was raining but not that strong. But held each other while we were walking.

Me: Where are going really?

Him: You’re a first time PNR Rider today Honey. :)

PNR is a train with air conditioning. Just like LRT. But a bigger version plus the air conditioning was great! Instead of riding the bus. He prefers riding the PNR when he goes to school. The fair is much cheaper too. :)

He told me we are going To Binondo Church. It’s gonna be a long day. But dang it was raining but we didn’t care.

At first. Hmp.

We decided to take off at Edsa station. We walked. Rode a jeepney to Baclaran.

It was really rainy. My feet are dirty. I hate it.

His are wet from the inside. He’s wearing sneakers.

We were pissed. The weather sucked.

as he was trying to get the fare form his bag. The zipper went lose and it broke. We try to laugh it off so we would forget. He started repairing the zipper in the Jeep. Fail.

From Baclaran, we took a LRT ride to Carriedo. In the LRT. He still tried to fix the zipper of his bag. Fail again.

We walked until we reached the China Town. Then the Famous Binodo Church that was bombarded during British times in the Philippines. It was re constructed of course.

We are long distance walkers. As in we can walk non stop till we reach our destination. That’s the way we bond. :)

So we were inside the Church now. We took a sit then we witnessed some babies getting their first Sacrament. Cute Babies. :)

He tried to fix the zipper of his bag once again. I didn’t pay too much attention. I was looking at the Murial paintings in the ceiling.

He was trying to force the zipper to be fixed.

He started saying things like

Him. Bwiset. Badtrip. La na akong bag. Sira na. Blah. Blah.

Me: Go! Calm down. :)

Him: My feet. Dang. Wet! Ugh. -_-

Me: Aku din puro putek na. :(

Him: Ugh! This sucks.

I remained quiet for minutes as he tries to concentrate to fix his darn bag zipper.

Him: ^(&Y)(&)((^0%?@!(((***^??^^Y&()&!!!!!! Naiinis na ko!

Me: Hey! Stop that! Calm down.

We stopped talking for 2 minutes.

Him: ^((&)*_()&%$@#!%@&&!!!!!!!

Me: Stop that. We’re in a Church you know.

Him: I’m getting frustrated here.

Me: You don’t need to say those! Calm down.

Him: How could I Calm down? My feet are wet. This darn bag is kinda broke because the zipper is ruined.

Me: Try doing it.

Him: Kalma daw. Tsk.

(Okay. I’ll stop talking now. You’re being stupid.)

I stopped talking literally. I didn’t speak.

We were in there for alomst an hour because he was trying to fix his bag.

Him: Our time is wasted in here.

Me: …….. (Okay I’ll not even answer.)

Him: Uy.

Me: …….

Him: Are you mad?

Me: I wanna go home.

(Because you drag me all the way here just for me to experience you tantrums? Great! Ugh. Let’s go home.)

Him: Why? :(

Me: You’re asking me why huh? Ask yourself.

Him: I’m sorry I’m not mad at you. I’m just getting frustrated right now. I can’t fix my bag. My feet are wet. What do want me to feel?

Me: Do you have to say such words? Is it necessary?

Him: I’m sorry! Please. :(

Me: Let’s go home. I’m not in the mood to make gala anymore.

Him: I’m sorry. Please? I’m sorry! I didn’t mean it.

I didn’t speak.

I hated his tantrums plus mood swings. Ugh. It’s not pleasant. I hate it.

I kept quiet for minutes. He still tried to fix his bag. I didn’t speak and finally he stood up.

Him: Let’s go.

I walked out the church. He was saying I should wait for him but I continued to walk even though I have no idea where I’m suppose to go.

He still continued to say Sorry 100x while we’re walking. Ugh. He realized he’s wrong but. He’s too late.

We walked in Carriedo. He was still saying sorry I didn’t speak. I didn’t let him hold my hand which means I’m still mad.

I really didn’t pay much of attention.

I was just walking. He was starting a drama. I hate it when he does that. So I have no choice but to hold his hands so he wouldn’t continue the drama and to shut him up.

But I’m not talking to him still. He needs a dose of his own medicine.

So we started walking until we reached Quiapo.

The sweetest fact about me is that even though I’m mad because of certain things, I can still manage to smile. Even though I’m hating at the same time. Hahaha!

We entered the Church. I’m trying to push a conversation but I think I need to hear him speak first.

When we did. He said sorry. He’s eyes are getting teary. He always feel like crying when I went mad. Coz he couldn’t take it.

At long last his mood is brighten up. I need water.

We bought one in a 7 eleven store nearby.

He also bought me Tugs tugs (Cornetto Drumsticks) and safety pins for his ruined bag.

Peace offering. :P

As we walked back. I started making crying sounds coz I wanted to buy Manggang hilaw.

He bought me some! Yipee! Then we walked back he asked if are gonna go home since we didn’t have the chance to attend the mass.

So I said yeah.

He wanted to stay at our place. Our parents are gone. They watch a recital so I was left alone with the key.

So we did walk and walk and walk. Then we rode a Jeepney to Pedro Gil and rode a Bus. :)

I told him that never to do that tantrums ever again. I hated it. -_-

He said sorry so I’m expecting he wouldn’t do that anymore.

We were at the Bus. Avatar was on TV. I watched. He played with my hair.

We reached Alabang. Walked again.

Ride a trike then walked then we were finally in our house.

No one is in there.

So our guard was down.

I let him wash his feet. So that he would stop complaining.

I did washed my feet too. They were dirty! O.o

He did some stuffs to actually make me smile a little bit.

He did cuddle me. Give me a forehead kiss and stuffs like that.

Not gonna detail them. I just kept giggling through those.

Hahaha! Silly me.

He kept staring at me.

We did less talking and more of staring at each other’s eyes.

We are weird coz we understand each other better with the staring thingy.

No talks.

Silence. Just air. Me and him. Two souls with one love.

Then we needed to stop. Our stomach was grumbling.

We ate our super late lunch.

My parents got home. Yey! (They didn’t witnessed our weirdness :P)

I changed my clothes because we needed to attend the mass.

We saw his Mom in the Church. He walked me to the terminal then.

We separate ways.

My Sunday started Bad. But it went well in the end so.

I think this day is neutral.

Woot! Long day! I’m still alive! :P